we confirmed!

We finally confirmed!

Were moving to Barrie! Were going up north, a big step but were excited. Now we finally have a goal were we can work towards to.

Bye Mississauga.....I've been now a year here in Mississauga and it was a great adventure. I love the city, we made alot of friends and we had fun and laughter. Wish us luck in Barrie!

"Our mess is a place"

One week to go and our lease is up....

We started with packing, but there is still more to do. We need to do a 'garage sale' cause we have lots of stuff we don't need anymore, we need to get organizing and cleaning. We have to move some stuff in the garage and some stuff downstairs, cause we will be living for a month in the basement. It's good cause it's cooler the weather is so hot the last few days....

So, we saw a few houses, again! Barrie was the place we were looking at some houses, beautifull houses, specially the last one. A huge house with lots of bedrooms and space, it's perfect for us! I'll cross my fingers for that one. And even though it's Barrie and not Mississauga, I'm fine with it. It's a nice and a  beautifull area.

This week I want to do alot of stuff for the moving, we need a plan, Our house is a mess now, not organized and it needs some cleaning. Let's get started!

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

A moving update...

So we visited a few houses but it seems we can't make a choice, or are we not daring enough to make a choice? I have this feeling with Saf, living in Mississauga is nice and was nice. We build up a good friendship with many people (mostly 'karaoke' people) And ofcource if we are going to move to another city we will be thinking of these people, what do we leave behind if we leave Mississauga? Alot of friends and ofcourse the city life, and the kids have (school) friends aswell. We saw a house in Barrie and we saw a few houses in Niagara and one in Brampton, gorgeous houses but a big step and a tough decision.

The time has come to move and to pack, we still have 2 weeks (one and a half actually) to find a house, pack our stuff and move. It's insane I know, but we got to! Now we have the idea to move to the basement for a month. (The landlord agreed) this gives us a month more to look for a house and the kids can finnish there schools, it's better and we have a bit more time. We pressed the panic button though! It's time to move and it's time to pack our stuff! I wonder how it will go in the basement with 7 people, it's only for a month tough, ooh, we will survive (LOL!)  we pack some stuff in the garage and some stuff in the basement. We keep you updated how things goes downstairs, can you say rush!

Moving (on), is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.”

The days are counting for us....

Everything has to be focused on moving, (read: finding a house) and everything next is on second place. The landlord has called us and said that he wants to sell the house, a week before he told us he wanted to do a month to month lease. That would have been good for us, so the kids can finish there schools and exams, and it gives us a month longer time to find a house. But NO!

I'm asking myself does the landlord knows his rights, is he not working against the law? In my eyes you can't tell a family to move in 60 days, go find a house, I'm selling this one. It's just not right. I wish I had some more ideas how this renting, selling or buying houses goes in Canada, I know how it goes in Holland, but this is Canada.

Anyway, the days are moving on and we have to find a house before June 1st. The kids are calm with the situation.(To young to understand I guess) Saf is worried but strong and moves on. (what else you can do) I do all I can and what I'm able to, and a bit more, and that is: packing already and looking aswell on sites for houses to rent on the net. Saf knows alot more with such things as moving and renting cause she moved alot and is Canadian.

still I wish I could do more. We have alot to do but I'm not worried, things goes as it goes.

"All things are difficult before they are easy."

Hectic days here...

In about 3 weeks we have to move, our lease is ended till the 1st of June, the Landlord did not want to lease month to month. He wants to sell the house and we have to go! No mercy. How different it is in Holland, in Holland they would help you search for a house or even give you a house, no one will put you on the street like that.

I'm packing already some boxes and organize what can go or not.  I'm actually not that worried, cause our time limit gives us a kick in the bum, or wakes us up. C'mon we gotta move! And when we must, we can! Were thinking of an garage sale this Saturday.

How are the kids about the moving, well, Mar has the most friends, so she's worriest the most. (Poor her) And the other kids are fine with it, and us? We are in love with this house but, it's time to say goodbye and look for something else, something smaller and cheaper would be nice. But it's hard to find such house, and we will never find a house like what we have now, but never say never!

A week ago we had Ab's Birthday party, we organized a chinese-diner party. (see pictures) With just a little decoration and alot of chinese food we managed alot. We have a huge solarium, there's where the party was, we lighted some candles, some low tables, some chop sticks and chinese statues, and tadaaa! We invited some guests but half of it had cancelled, but still it was cozy with some of Mar friends and Saf's niece.

The 'ex' showed up aswell in the middle of the party, just at the front-door though, as always. He had some presents for Ab, he stayed for 10 min. (at the door) and left. After that Mar came downstairs while she was for a bit upstairs, she had a sad face. I noticed it lately she has that feeling many times after a birthday, sometimes I sit and talk a bit with her. She's sad because everyone else gets a present from her Dad but she's getting nothing, he doesn't even remember her Birthday, she told me. Noor does not really understand this.

(Mar and Noor, don't get along sometimes.) Noor says to Mar when she came down that she doesn't do a thing for her Dad, she goes on and on, "how would you feel that they take away all of your kids, and they never contact you", blah blah, Noor continues, it makes Mar feel bad and confussed. The only one to blame is her Dad, he never shows up or let hear from him towards Mar, he forgotten mar's birthday lots of time. Everytime when there is a birthday party for one of the kids, mar feels bad. Cause everyone gets a present or a phonecall but not mar. While her Dad was there for Ab, Mar went upstairs and didn't go see her Dad, the other kids were. Just to show him how it felt to be ignored. I love you Mar!

my thoughts last week....

It's overwelming sometimes and your thoughts want to escape, escape to a quiet place, A place where it's calm and where you can think about things, organizing  my thoughts. Putting it all in perspective, and after that you realize, it's not that bad at all. Sometimes I ask myself what do I want, especially when I'm in a mood. Well, I know what I want, and what I want is this family, but sometimes it's so, aaaarghhh, difficult. When it's all getting to much you want some attention from your loved one, a hug or a kiss from one of the kids, or just a talk, telling me that it's all alright. But even sometimes it's hard to get that attention or that hug or that kiss.

"At the end of the whole day of working with people you want some privacy".

Lately my moods are slightly lighter...

But yesterday I had one again, I just snap with the littlest things, I so don't like that. It was about sharing things or keeping it for yourself, things what matters to the family. Do you keep it for yourself or do you share it with each other, with each other I mean "Husband and Wife," or in my case Boyfriend, Stepfather? 

I think it's quit normal to share or tell things to one another, about the kids, the house, the bills or what ever matters to our family. Or do you keep it to yourself if something going on?  Everyone has there own private things sometimes, every woman, man or child, and that can be anything. We also need some priavte time for ourselves, a Husband and a Wife do not  have to be 24 hours on each other lip, that's not healty. I found that out the hard the hard way.

Back to the last 14 days, Noor is sick, she's coughing and throwing up. She's stubborn to stay inside and rest. (she went baby sitting and afterwards she went to her Dad's) And afterwards complaining that she's so sick. So, yeah we went to the doctors with her and he said rest and stay inside! And so she did. Then the 'ex' showed up cause it's Friday and it's time for the kids to go to there Father, well, not every weekend, next weeken it's our turn again.

Everyone went, accept Cle and Mar, Cle was babysitting. And Mary...(uhm)...she had friends over. The other kids went, yes! even Noor! Maybe she didn't want to dissapoint her Dad, or, I don't know. The rest of us had a nice quiet weekend, Mar had friends over like I said, and they had the idea to sleep in the solarium, I think it was a idea of all of us. Maryam had fun with her 4 friends staying over, infact all of the kids friends like it here. That's a nice compliment.

Sunday was a day of resting/relaxation  and waiting till the kids came back from there Fathers. They came early, Noor was still sick and went right away upstairs to have a lay down, Cle and Ab (suprising) went back with there Father. Cle cause she missed the 'Fathers weekend' yesterday. Then suddenly Noor came downstairs, she found out that someone touched or borrowed her Ipod. She run downstairs and starting to yell and freak out towards Mar, she was right that Mar borrowed it. But she took care of it and said sorry, Noor wasn't finnished and freaked out. Mar was stunned and quiet, I could read her mind,..."What is wrong with her?" Infact we all thought the same thought.

It was quit hectic and Noor run upstairs again and was about to have a panic-attack, scraming, crying and yelling at the same time. It was all to much for her, still sick and a weekend in a small appartment with her father didn't do her good. And the 'no rest' the last week hammered it right in. Time to calm down and rest Noor! And so she did after her Mom calmed her down. Then the 'ex' came back to check on Noor, sigh! He went upstairs after he asked Cle's  permission. And so we had Cle, Ab the 'ex, all in Noora's room. When the 'ex' came inside to see Noor I was walking towards the washroom and passed him. I looked at him for 2 seconds and ignored him, he did the same, what a ackward feeling! I think it was the first time I ever saw him from that close.

The 'ex' his wife came aswell inside to check on Noor after Saf asked her. (being polite) Everyone was woundering around at that time, all feeling ackward and trying to hide it. Hoping that it all will end soon, and we can continue with our Sunday. The 'ex' came downstairs with his wife to go home. He took Cle and Ab with him. Abd saw the 'ex' comming downstairs and said, 'Baba,' the 'ex' reached out his hand and so did Abdu, and so they went outside 'Baba and 'Abdu' hand in hand. I saw it all from off the couch and it was again a ackward feeling, a feeling of, "Here goes little Ab, the little man I spend daily with and have a nice time, feed him, change his diapers, take care of him." I was glad it was the end of the weekend, I think we all were.