"All things are difficult before they are easy."

Hectic days here...

In about 3 weeks we have to move, our lease is ended till the 1st of June, the Landlord did not want to lease month to month. He wants to sell the house and we have to go! No mercy. How different it is in Holland, in Holland they would help you search for a house or even give you a house, no one will put you on the street like that.

I'm packing already some boxes and organize what can go or not.  I'm actually not that worried, cause our time limit gives us a kick in the bum, or wakes us up. C'mon we gotta move! And when we must, we can! Were thinking of an garage sale this Saturday.

How are the kids about the moving, well, Mar has the most friends, so she's worriest the most. (Poor her) And the other kids are fine with it, and us? We are in love with this house but, it's time to say goodbye and look for something else, something smaller and cheaper would be nice. But it's hard to find such house, and we will never find a house like what we have now, but never say never!

A week ago we had Ab's Birthday party, we organized a chinese-diner party. (see pictures) With just a little decoration and alot of chinese food we managed alot. We have a huge solarium, there's where the party was, we lighted some candles, some low tables, some chop sticks and chinese statues, and tadaaa! We invited some guests but half of it had cancelled, but still it was cozy with some of Mar friends and Saf's niece.

The 'ex' showed up aswell in the middle of the party, just at the front-door though, as always. He had some presents for Ab, he stayed for 10 min. (at the door) and left. After that Mar came downstairs while she was for a bit upstairs, she had a sad face. I noticed it lately she has that feeling many times after a birthday, sometimes I sit and talk a bit with her. She's sad because everyone else gets a present from her Dad but she's getting nothing, he doesn't even remember her Birthday, she told me. Noor does not really understand this.

(Mar and Noor, don't get along sometimes.) Noor says to Mar when she came down that she doesn't do a thing for her Dad, she goes on and on, "how would you feel that they take away all of your kids, and they never contact you", blah blah, Noor continues, it makes Mar feel bad and confussed. The only one to blame is her Dad, he never shows up or let hear from him towards Mar, he forgotten mar's birthday lots of time. Everytime when there is a birthday party for one of the kids, mar feels bad. Cause everyone gets a present or a phonecall but not mar. While her Dad was there for Ab, Mar went upstairs and didn't go see her Dad, the other kids were. Just to show him how it felt to be ignored. I love you Mar!

my thoughts last week....

It's overwelming sometimes and your thoughts want to escape, escape to a quiet place, A place where it's calm and where you can think about things, organizing  my thoughts. Putting it all in perspective, and after that you realize, it's not that bad at all. Sometimes I ask myself what do I want, especially when I'm in a mood. Well, I know what I want, and what I want is this family, but sometimes it's so, aaaarghhh, difficult. When it's all getting to much you want some attention from your loved one, a hug or a kiss from one of the kids, or just a talk, telling me that it's all alright. But even sometimes it's hard to get that attention or that hug or that kiss.