Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough.

Finally feeling a bit better the last couple of days...

I'm eating slowly normal again, step by step. The stomach flu hitted me quit hard, and what an experience. Last night I had potatoes and beans for dinner and some beef, carefully I ated it, bite by bite. It went good and it tasted good. Later tonight we had a 'Birthday party' for Tasn, she turned 7, it will be my first night out again after I was sick for 2 weeks. We had planned to celebrate Tasn's birthday at a restaurant called 'Bayleaf', it's near our house and they have 'karaoke' on Wednesdaynight (yay!)

In the early afternoon we took of for the birthday cake and the decorations, first stop was Metro and then to the Dollarstore. The cake looked nice and they wroted 'Happy Birthday Tasn' on it.  At the Dollarstore we bought some decorations and ordered some balloons with gas, after that of to the restaurant were the party will be held.

After our dinner we prepaired ourselves for the party, then suddenly a knock on the door! It was the 'ex' to wish Tasn a 'Happy Birthday.' I was in the TV room and I had a bit of a vieuw on the frontdoor where he was standing. I thought to myself, I'm sitting good here, I'm not moving, one by one the kids came to say hello cause 'he' asked them too. Some came with a happy face and some even refused to come, I think he gave Mar a bit of a hard time, (sigh) cause after she saw 'him' she went in a bad mood. The ex stayed (in the doorway) for about 7 or 8 minutes and took of again. (Bye, bye.)

It was time to dress up and get ready.The first ones who  took of were Mar, Cle, Ab, and Saf to decorate the served table at the 'Bayleaf'. Tasn was already dressed up, looked beautifull as ever, and was ready to go. After 30 minutes Saf came back to pick us up, and there we went!

It was a nice evening, we sung alot of songs and even Tasn sung a few songs. Tasn's niece Sar and her friend showed up a bit later, suprise!! Tasn was happy to see her, it was FUN! I saw a happy family and everyone was there, having a good time.

In the middle of the evening Mar and Tan had a bit of an argue, (same ol' same ol') they sometimes have the most argues. They just don't get along so now and then. I wish one day they get along together better, they also share a room together and maybe it's an idea to give Mar a room for herself. She's 13 now, (well, almost) were thinking of puting Tasn and Ab together in a room, they are always together palying around. That sould be good.

In the middle of the week Sharon and I had a bit of a discusion, it was about conversations. I would like to see sometimes, that the kids or Sharon tell me what's going on, or what is new with them, or what's new in the house, or for example, 'what happened after that 1 phonecall' or 'is there any news from you with work.' Just family things, family things what matters to me aswell, I miss that sometimes. Mostly I ask for things, and I'm not that good in that, it makes me feel nosy.

I can't find the right word for it but, is it not called 'sharing'? Sharing things as a family, by sharing I mean, telling me things what's going on or what's new. Saf and I talked about that and she said "You don't have to know everything." That made me a bit upset cause, I thought to myself  "Why am I here then?" I know, I don't have to know everything, like for example woman things. Saf explained me that, some certain things the kids like to discus with there Mother, and I totally understand that and I agree in that, but it was not what I ment. If there is any news, small things or big things, I would like and love to hear that sometimes. It makes me feel a member of the family, feeling that I'm a part too.

Why did I bring this up? Sometimes I hear things in a later stadium what I didn't know of, or I hear it from another or trough a phonecall by accident. Then I think to myself, why didn't I know that? Why didn't they tell me? This happens sometimes, it makes me feel left out so now and then, we talked about this and we (kinda) solved it. Sure I don't have to know everything but sure I would like to know things what matters  to me aswell without being nosey.