Dear beautiful Spring weather, I miss you. Was it something I said? ...or was it oblivious that you had to rain so much today? Yesterday started of with grey clouds and it was about to rain, just like the weatherforecast said. It's nice when it rains and you have something to do inside the house. The 'things' were organizing & and cleaning before the kids come home from school. It was easy to do when the kids are of to school, only me, Sharon and Ab. Even though Abdu was touching everything our walked in our way, it went pretty good and it was nice with some music on.
later on the kids were going to be picked up by there Father,yeah! ALL of them! and that's different. Saf told me it will be the first time ever that they all go. It will be a experience for the kids and for the Father. Take care of 5 kids, the responsibility. That's what Saf did whole of there lives and that's not nothing. Let's see if he can manisch. For the kids it's different aswell to be on each other lips for two days and one night.
As we gathered trough the cleaning and organizing day, the time flied and before we knew the first kids came back from school. There was a nervous and ackward feeling around this day, was it the weather? Maybe it was a part of it. Some of the kids didn't wanna go to there Dads, was it the nerves? Or was it something else. There is always a nervous and ackward feeling when the ex is around Saf told me. We were all kinda moody this afternoon. At 4:00 pm Tasn came back from school and shouted trough the house "Baba is here, you all get ready!" Abdu and Tasneem were ready and Maryam wasn't. (she really didn't wanna go and was recking the time the time) She was still packing her suitcase. Mom told her that she can go at 7:00 when he pickes up Cle and Noor. The plan was to bring the 3 youngest with there Father to 'Chucky Cheese' and after that pick up the 2 oldest for a dinner, all 5!
The ex took of with only Tasn and Ab. Our cleaning job was almost done and we sat down and talked with a coffee. It was still raining and Saf's friend invited us for a coffee later this evening, our plan was to go for an hour or a bit longer before we go to 'the Legion' for our weekly karaoke. The ex returned in 90 min. from Chucky's cause Ab had a dirty diaper (snort*) Now imagine this, HE takes the 2 youngest out, should HE not be prepaired? Can't he buy diapers? He is the one now responisble. Again there was moods flying all over. Saf was angry and Cle was telling her, "don't make a big deal about it and change Ab."I decided to change him to get it over with. BUT Abdu was cranky and didn't want to be changed. Stamping and crying, I went in a tiny angry mood and said 'alright he doesn't wannabe changed.' Saf again mad. In the end he didn't even had a dirty diaper, he farted! Result? A clean dry diaper, the ex did not even checked.
7:00 pm.... it was time to go for all of the kids, most of them cranky and moody. BENG! The front door closed and of they went. Funny and weird thing was Grandma was talking with he ex AGAIN before he drove away, and it wasn't the first time she did that. How she knew the ex was here again? Weird! It was quiet and a ackward feeling came over us when the kids went. It was still raining and Saf and I decided to make a quick dinner and then of to her friend.
The rain poored out of the clouds when we took of, Arriving at Samiha's house was nice. Were always a bit excited to go there cause there friendly and you feel welcome. Although the language isn't handy for a Dutch guy as me. You want to be a part of the conversation and make jokes aswell or understand them or even give advice if they have a problem. But I can't speak or understand Arabic. I can deal with it and I'm fine, they can't speak English and I can't speak Arabic, there is no solution. I went a bit moody after 90 min. (my bad) the Arabic speaking was just a bit to much and I tried to hide my mood. They were laughing and had a good time but being a part of it wasn't possible. Later in the car I explained why I was moody. I asked Saf, 'what would you do if I was talking to 6 Dutch guys and you were part of it'? 'Prolly read a book or go on the laptop,' she answered, cause I can't understand Dutch. She understood me. but there isn't a solution, you have to deal with it. I don't have to, I can stay home aswell, it's my choice to come or not, and if I do come, I should not complain. Cause I made then the choice to come.
It was nice and crowdy at the 'Legion' as we gathered our way to our seats.....After singin one song from both of us 'Paul' joined us (Paul is Tyra's ex husband and Tyra is Saf's friend)
He was also there last week when we had a good time with a few more of or friends. Paul is a talker so he talked and talked and Saf talked and talked, and me? Yeah , I talked aswell, but after a while I went a bit quiet. I thought "Man, I wish I could talk like that"! Now here comes the silly part from my side. (or wasn't it a silly part?) I had a few reasons to be quiet, my thoughts were "I'm outta words and I can't join any longer", "They get along so well", "See them both talk" "Aaaargghhhh... sssshhh Sjon! Get a hold on yourself!" I decided to sing a duet with 'Paul' It went from 1 duet to 5 duets, it was fun, until we were sitting down again and started talking the 3 of us. I was outta words..............................blank! and in a mood, damn moods! The talking from them both became annoying.
Was it jealousy that Saf seems so interested in Paul's talking? (hmm!) Saf saw just 3 people having a good time and I did not, or I was trying to see it, without succes. What is the problem then? Is it lack of experience, lack of experience of having a good time with friends or having long talks? I've never been in a situation like this and I can't explain how I feel then, back in Holland I would run away for situations like this, being afraid. I guess I've been to long on my own. The very first time ever to have a relationship, friends who never showed up, etc. And that's all I have to say about it. For me it's easy to understand.
At the end of the evening we drove Paul back home. Again the talking and me being almost quiet and moody! While I'm writting this I still try to understand what got me in that mood. For me it was just the talking he did and a bit the jealousy of not being able to be a part of the conversation. I'm not a talker and I can't change that! or can I? Saf told me I'm progressing in every little thing what's new for me,so yeah, we will see. I'm such an idiot! I could have such a fun night! But no...
when we came home we drunk a coffee together with baileys, and talked the situation of my mood trough. I liked the talking it's good for me and it heals. I felt aswell bad towards Saf to put up with me and my moods sometimes, the talk had a happy and end, thank god...I felt sorry!
Geen opmerkingen:
Een reactie posten